Gaslighting: Help Clients Escape and Rebuild from a Narcissist's Emotional Abuse

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Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., NCC, DCMHS, LMHC Related seminars and products

Author, Psychotherapist

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Stephanie Moulton Sarkis PhD, NCC, DCMHS, LMHC, is a bestselling author and psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and ADHD. She is the author of several books, including the best-selling Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free and 10 Simple Solutions to Adult ADD: How to Overcome Chronic Distraction and Accomplish Your Goals.  She was named a Diplomate and Clinical Mental Health Specialist in Child and Adolescent Counseling of the American Mental Health Counselors Association, one of only 20 professionals in the United States with this dual designation. ​

Dr. Sarkis is also a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Florida Supreme Court Certified Family and Circuit Mediator. Dr. Sarkis is the founder of the Sarkis Institute, specializing in the treatment of comorbid anxiety and ADHD. She is a contributor to Forbes, Psychology Today, and The Huffington Post.  Her Psychology Today posts have been viewed over 26 million times. She has a PhD, EdS, and MEd in Mental Health Counseling from the University of Florida, named by US News and World Report as the top counselor education program in the country. Dr. Sarkis has appeared on CNN, 10% Happier with Dan Harris, Sirius XM Doctor Radio, ABC (U.S.), ABC (Australia),and many more media outlets. Her research is published in the Journal of Attention Disorders. She is based in Tampa, Florida, where she provides evaluations and psychotherapy. You can visit her website at www.stephaniesarkis.com.

 

Speaker Disclosures:

Financial: Stephanie Sarkis is the founder of the Sarkis Institute. She has received monetary awards for her research and has worked as a sub-investigator for major pharmaceutical companies, such as Abbott Laboratories, Glaxo/SmithKline, and Lexicor. Stephanie has books published by New Harbinger Publications and receives royalties. She writes blogs for Psychology Today and Huffington Post. She receives a speaking honorarium from PESI, Inc.

Non-financial: Stephanie Sarkis is on the Professional Advisory Board of Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD). She has received an American Psychological Association Outstanding Dissertation Award. 

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Objectives

1. Utilize solution focused, cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to address victims of emotional abuse.
2. Differentiate between abusive behaviours defined as “gaslighting”, poor communication, and other forms of emotional abuse.
3. Evaluate the effectiveness of evidence-based practices to address emotional abuse
4. Determine whether a client is experiencing complicated grief as a result of leaving their abuser using techniques from attachment and complicated grief therapy.
5. Utilize clinical strategies from a trauma-informed perspective to identify vulnerabilities and trauma that abusers prey upon.
6. Educate clients to identify potential abusive behaviour in future relationships.

Outline

A More Dangerous Form of Emotional Abuse

• Potential for domestic homicide is higher
• Lifetime attachment issues for children witnessing the abuse
• Parental alienation
• Chronic loss of self-esteem; higher suicide rates
• Gaslighting probability higher in men

Warning Signs of Gaslighting

• Intermittent positive reinforcement (breadcrumbing)
• Slow spiral into instability
• Compulsive lying with malicious intent
• Jekyll and Hyde personality

Unpacking Profile of Perpetrator

• Narcissist, sociopath, or learned behaviour? Nature/nurture
• Demands absolute loyalty, never gives it in return
• Chronic pattern of infidelity
• May be very charismatic
• They’ll only attend couples therapy, never individual
• Gaslighting the therapist
• Case study: 38-year-old male, gaslighting his partner

Recognizing Gaslighting Abuse in Clients

• Disconnected and isolated from family and friends
• Blames self for abuse
• Difficulty recognizing gradual build of abuse
• Ruminates on how to “fix” relationship
• Abuse in family of origin
• Increase in anxious attachment style traits
• Given up independence, including job and solo activities
• Enters therapy because they view themselves as the “problem”

Healing from Family-of-Origin and Complicated Grief

• Insecure attachment
• Permission to detach, reduce, or cease communication
• Sticking to healthy boundaries
• Reverse relationship patterns
• Case study: Cassie, 60-year-old female, family of-origin engages in gaslighting

Help Clients Rebuild Their Lives

• Effective strategies for co-parenting with gaslighter
• Legal protections for clients and their children
• Formation of healthy boundaries
• Case study: Jamie, 45-years-old, co-parenting with a narcissist
• Case study: 35-years-old, co-parenting with gaslighting ex-partner

Potential Pitfalls for Therapists

• Triangulation of therapist
• Being swayed by gaslighter’s charisma
• Frustration over client returning to relationship
• Pushing own agenda of client independence
• Vicarious traumatization and burnout

Target Audience

• Counselors
• Social workers
• Psychologists
• Marriage and Family Therapists
• Mental health professionals who specialize in women’s issues, work in domestic violence shelters, work with LGBTQIA+ clients
• Therapists that work in private practice, group settings, inpatient, and at schools

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